From This Side of the Ocean . . .

Days of transition . . . full of joy and sorrow, excitement and fear, laughter and tears, confidence and nervousness, hope and despair . . . .
I've spent this week trying to wrap up my work with the project and prepare for my time in the States. It's not an easy thing to tie up one life--even for a couple of months--and think about living another one. I, for one, don't deal with change all that well, and this is major change. So each day it's a battle to remember that indeed my life is in HIS hands--and thus I need not fear, worry, or fret (I do all three very well:-).
All week the women in the project have astounded me. They have nothing--really, truly, nothing--and yet they give so generously from their nothingness. I've received gifts, hugs, tears, smiles . . . love so abundant and undeserved. They bless me. They are so precious to me. I'm shamed by my tight fists . . . I think I'm generous, but it's only because after I give something away, I know I'm going to have something left. Letay brought me a basket . . . brightly woven, a little worn. She cried as she handed the gift over. She said she didn't have any money to buy me something, but she wanted to give me a gift. So she gave me the one thing she had . . . a little basket she's always kept her jewelry in.
Yesterday I went to visit a couple of beneficiaries who I fear will not be alive when I return. I find it so hard to trust Father . . . that He will work, and we must be faithful to scatter the seed. "Sara, why are you leaving us? Why? Jennifer (a previous staff member) came, and she was our friend, and she left. Then you came, and you were our best friend, and you are leaving. Why?" Geta said, as tears dripped down her face. I weep. Why? Why? Why have they been abandoned over and over and over throughout their lives? Am I adding to the burden? "But Geta, Jesus is here. All of the time. I love you, I will pray for you. I will not forget you." May my words not be empty, but may truth ring through them.
The next few days will be busy with all the transitions, so this is my last post from this side of the ocean! I will soon be in the land of all things modern, my family and friends, and, of course, diet coke. Just so everyone knows my priorities!! :-)
You've blessed me, supported me, sustained me, and encouraged me this past year. I am grateful for you. May our Father guide and keep all of us until the day we get to stand together in a world without sorrow, pain, weeping, and death.