Heavy

Tonight I am weary. The past few days in the project have left me reeling a bit, finding yet again I don’t have all it takes to do this on my own. It seems as though every day there has been something that just drains and overwhelms me and leaves me grasping for reasons and answers. Monday it was a tiny, sick little boy for whom another staff member and I went to the government hospital to talk to the docs to try to get the boy’s antiretroviral (ARV) doses corrected. Yesterday it was one of our beneficiaries burdened under the weight and shame of spiritual oppression. Today it was another beneficiary who was denied her ARV medication because of arrogant and ignorant officials—thus now the chances of us being able to effectively treat her with the available resources are slim. There are always good stories in there too, and I am thankful for them. But they seem far outweighed by ones like these—harsh realities that affect real people. On top of these things, kerempt (rainy season) is here in full force and I think I am going to develop SAD!!
So I tell myself the call is to press on, to persevere, to see hope and seize it and share it. But “my spirit is overwhelmed within me” and my eyes are dim.